Tuesday, August 13, 2013

It was hard to wake up and go to the bathroom this morning.  Your room is another reality to me. You won’t be here for a while. I have cried a few times, but not as bad as yesterday. That was just plain rough.

I talked to Mrs. Adams this morning. She had some very nice comments about you. It makes me so proud to know what an upstanding young man you are and are becoming; to know that you are willing to give of yourself and never ask anything in return.  I’m so proud to be able to call you my son. I still cried. Seems when someone talks about you I cry. I will eventually get over that, but for now, it's just a reality. Guess I have to face it.

I was especially surprised when you texted me. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting to be able to talk to you for a while. I didn’t know if ya’ll would survive the first week so I wasn’t sure if I’d get to talk to you this Sunday or not…I was prepared to NOT talk to you…and then I got that “good morning mama” text that just melted my heart.

Of course, I cried when I had to put the phone down because you would not be able to text any more, but I knew it was coming, so it wasn’t as hard as it was to leave you. I know that it’s just the next few weeks that will be rough trying to get used to you not being here, and I also know that it’s starting your amazing career, but dang it, it’s flipping rough.

I was waiting for a client to call me to go take a contract to them, and after waiting until eight, decided I was going to drink a glass of wine. I think I drank it way too quick..I was sure relaxed after that. Didn’t have to take a stress tab so I could sleep. Did that all on my own.  Just a few seconds of tears before bed and all was good. Lots of prayers going on, though. I can only hope that you are saying your prayers like I asked.